Pressure

Right. So, this blog is a little bit about my life, a little bit about my writing/writing in general, and mostly about what it's like being a creative writing grad student out in the "real" world.

Recently, I've been posting about life and hardships and inspirations and whatnot. Now I'm coming full circle back to writing.

I know what you're thinking, "Ahhh - she's a writer. It's November. This is her National Novel Writing Month token post."

Well, you're wrong. I'm working on my thesis. I don't have any time to write another novel on top of this one.

This is a thesis writing post.

Sorta.

Today has been brought to you by the letter "P"

P is for PRESSURE

Who is under pressure here? *I raise my hand*

Why - you may ask.

Well, I'll tell you. So I rewrote chapter one. And it's pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned. My thesis advisor even said it was some of the cleanest writing she's ever seen from me. So naturally, I'm all like "woooooooo"

Then I sit down to write chapter 2. And the freaking cursor just sits there blinking on the damn page and no words are appearing.

Here's what's going through my head....

"What if I can't get back into that voice?"

"What if my characters feel forced?"

"What if chapter 2 is not nearly as good as chapter one?"

"What if I can't finish my thesis?"

"What if this is all I have in me?"

"What if this chapter is epically shorter than that last one?"

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Yeah. It's awesome. 

And really, who the fuck cares about most of that? Page count? I mean, come on...

Then I close the computer and read or watch TV and think, "Alright. All I need is a break. I just need some space." 

ANNNNND then the cycle starts all over again. However this time it's accompanied by that David Bowie and Queen song, Under Pressure.

You know, this one...

Well, I know how to beat the cycle! I will open the document and pretend that I'm not writing for my thesis. My masters degree doesn't ride on this. No one else will see it. EVER. Just me. So really, all I need to do is have fun and write because it's fun. Get back to the basics as it were. 

That's what made chapter one so awesome. I was having FUN while writing it. 

This is a new plan of attack. We'll see how it pans out... updates will follow.