Life After Grad School

*waves sheepishly from slumped down position in chair*

Hello. I know it's been FOREVER since I posted here. I haven't forgotten about my blog. Nope. I've just been super busy. Not a fantastic excuse, but when you're working on a thesis it's what happens. 

Well, I am totally done with my thesis! 

Some of you may have forgotten or are new here and may be asking, "What was your thesis?"

It was (and it still exists but now as my WIP) a YA novel that is a little bit urban fantasy. I say a little bit because it's not so much urban, but its not high fantasy. However, that is a discussion for another day! (Along with writing a YA novel, I also had to write a 12-15 page paper that went with it. That got me doing a good bit of research on the whole "urban fantasy" category).

Okay, so my thesis is done. What have I been doing since then?

Trying to figure life out. And reading whatever I want! 

So.... trying to figure life out is not super fun. I mean, I love life. I love my husband and where we are in our lives right now, but I have this thesis and MFA and I need to do something with it. That means trying to figure life (as a future author) out. 

I am starting the querying process and trying to find an agent. Why do I need an agent? Why not just straight to an editor? Well, the market keeps changing and it's good to have someone on your team. I'll write a whole blog post about why you need an agent and my querying process. 

Now, reading whatever I want.

Holy crap. I haven't been able to do that since... I don't know, like, middle school. I've always gone to fairly competitive schools and have always had a pretty heavy reading list handed out to me at the beginning of each semester or summer.

But now. Now I don't. 

It's been amazing! Right, so there's a phrase "happy as a kid in a candy store." That's me. It's not candy though. It's books. If you'd like to keep up with my reviews and whatnot you should check out my articles on CultureMass. Also, I have a goodreads widget that keeps track of what books I'm reading this year (just incase you're dying to know....)

So. Now that I have free time I'm planning on posting a good bit more. I promise. For real this time.   

BWAAAAAA!

Okay, so this is me freaking out a bit.

I really wanted to keep up with the Top Ten Tuesday. I really did. It's been super fun and easy to do several posts at once in advance... but I just can't commit to it anymore.

I'm sorry to say, but I really just can't commit to my blog right now. Here's a list of what on my plate....

• Thesis (research, reading models, planning, writing, thinking...)
• Reading
• This writing project I'm doing with some Peace Core Volunteers where I write a short story (in English) based on the town/village that these children live in in Ethiopia
• The 12-15 page paper that goes along with the novel portion of my thesis
• Housework/ being a non-slacker partner to Husband (who has been working 12 hour shifts on top of school and is just plain worn out) and trying to keep some order in the house to balance the chaos of his schedule
• My job
• Having a life
• Oh... and sleep

That's a lot on one plate. And look, my blog isn't even on it. Oh, and I'm going to be helping my buddy Cameron and some others out with a new entertainment blog that launches in March. The only reason that that isn't stressing me out is that it's not a whole blog/project that is on my shoulders alone. I get to make up lists and whatnot. On this blog I feel that I have a bit of a difference audience. I know that some of you enjoy the personal aspects of the blog and I do to...

I also enjoy writing about the books I've been reading. But that's not happening.

Last night I did finish Paper Valentine one of the books on my 2013 Top Ten that's being released this year. It was...okay. I stuck with it because a lot of the relationships in the book were similar to ones in mine and I wanted to see how the author went about showing these relationships and not just telling. 

Okay... whew. I would say I feel better but it's late, I need to unload the dishwasher and write one more chapter before tomorrow and all I want to do is sleep.

WHEW! 

WHERE IS THE CAFFEINE DRIP WHEN I NEED ONE?    

A New Year

Well, I think husband and I are cursed for New Years Eves. Our first one as a married couple he had to work at 4 am the next day so we went to bed at like, 10. And then this year I was sick with a cold. BUT, we have many more to look forward to and it gave me time to think.

I was going to discuss my New Year's Resolutions... but now I'm not. You may ask, why? Well, come back tuesday and you'll find out :-) I wanted to do goals rather than resolutions. I think they're pretty much the same thing, but the word "goal" just seems less daunting.

I do want to talk about why I'm really excited about this year. Kind of like what I expect out of 2013.

Before I go into what I'm looking forward to this year, I think you might need some background. I have been in school, like my whole life. The summer I graduated from college - about a month and a half later I began my graduate program. Then I think I've only taken one real semester off while in the program. So, think about it: That's grad school pretty much year round. I love my program, but here's one of the things I'm looking forward to....

Not being in school. This idea just blows my mind. 

Other things... I'll have a completed manuscript done that I can start sending out to literary agencies. Woah. Like, this isn't just a "some day dream" anymore. It's like, ahh - yeah, mid-May. Again. Mind blown.

Also, no required reading. So that's new. Um, time that would be spent on thesis and school can now be devoted to other things. Like cooking and running. Hanging out with husband more and doing lots of fun things. And writing other things that aren't my thesis.

I say all of this, but I know, come September... I'll start to get antsy again. I'll begin thinking of research papers to write. I'll look into teaching programs or other degrees and everyone will call me crazy, but I can't go that long without school. I love to learn (yes, nerd and proud of it! What's wrong with that? Nothing.) and I love to hone my skills. I love to improve my mind. I think it's a genetic thing. My grandfather was a doctor and studied psychology and like, *fingerwiggle* other medical stuff. General doctor stuff *ends fingerwiggle* and he kept attending classes until he was like 75. Sure, he could pay for it (and that's my biggest restraint but I"ll just work harder). 

But no, getting off that tangent - I'm just really excited to be that person I've been working so long to be. I will have a Master's degree. I'll be a Master of something. How kick-ass is that? Very. 

So, I'm super excited about where I'll be at the end of 2013. What about you? Any big finish lines for you this year? Any goals?  

Pressure

Right. So, this blog is a little bit about my life, a little bit about my writing/writing in general, and mostly about what it's like being a creative writing grad student out in the "real" world.

Recently, I've been posting about life and hardships and inspirations and whatnot. Now I'm coming full circle back to writing.

I know what you're thinking, "Ahhh - she's a writer. It's November. This is her National Novel Writing Month token post."

Well, you're wrong. I'm working on my thesis. I don't have any time to write another novel on top of this one.

This is a thesis writing post.

Sorta.

Today has been brought to you by the letter "P"

P is for PRESSURE

Who is under pressure here? *I raise my hand*

Why - you may ask.

Well, I'll tell you. So I rewrote chapter one. And it's pretty awesome as far as I'm concerned. My thesis advisor even said it was some of the cleanest writing she's ever seen from me. So naturally, I'm all like "woooooooo"

Then I sit down to write chapter 2. And the freaking cursor just sits there blinking on the damn page and no words are appearing.

Here's what's going through my head....

"What if I can't get back into that voice?"

"What if my characters feel forced?"

"What if chapter 2 is not nearly as good as chapter one?"

"What if I can't finish my thesis?"

"What if this is all I have in me?"

"What if this chapter is epically shorter than that last one?"

"WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Yeah. It's awesome. 

And really, who the fuck cares about most of that? Page count? I mean, come on...

Then I close the computer and read or watch TV and think, "Alright. All I need is a break. I just need some space." 

ANNNNND then the cycle starts all over again. However this time it's accompanied by that David Bowie and Queen song, Under Pressure.

You know, this one...

Well, I know how to beat the cycle! I will open the document and pretend that I'm not writing for my thesis. My masters degree doesn't ride on this. No one else will see it. EVER. Just me. So really, all I need to do is have fun and write because it's fun. Get back to the basics as it were. 

That's what made chapter one so awesome. I was having FUN while writing it. 

This is a new plan of attack. We'll see how it pans out... updates will follow.

Wherein I Feel Like A Rock Star and English Saves A Life

Well, enough of me talking about the downsides to being a writer and whatnot. I'm sure we'll come back to it at some point, but today, I want to touch on two things:

1. When/how being an English Person makes me feel like a rockstar 
2. What the world  would be like if everything depended on English 

So- as some of you may know, Husband is in nursing school. He's brilliant when it comes to scientific things and numbers. All the things that completely confound me. He also knows grammar very well. But papers (while he's good at them, he hates them) are his Achilles' Heel.

Yesterday morning the alarm buzzes far too early for me, and he hops out of bed to get a jump start on the mountain of homework he has to have done before he goes into the hospital after lunch. Well, I just roll over and go back to sleep for a little while. Then, once it's a reasonable hour for me to get up on an off day, I walk out of the bedroom bleary eyed into the kitchen where he's set up shop.

Picture this:

I walk out of the bedroom. The sun, a bit too bright for my still sleepy eyes causing me the squint and rub them. My sock-footed feet shuffle on the hardwood floor to the kitchen. Half way through a yawn HUSBAND looks up at me. His face brightens.

HUSBAND: Will you proof read this for me? And maybe help with the citations? He shoves a handful of papers into my hand. 

I look down at them and the wheels in my brain start to move. I need to answer him. I glance back up.

ME: Yes, but only if you make me eggs and an english muffin

HUSBAND: Agreed! You rock baby!

And here's how I feel:



Awesome. Simply awesome. 

I love it when my talents as an English major kick in. It's times like this, and when I can help my mother solve literary questions on her crossword puzzle, that I feel like a total rockstar. 

This is what the world kinda looks like when I'm all pumped up on feeling awesome:

It's a great view.

So, this brings me to point two. If the world depended on English.

Right, so there are days when I come home from work, particularly grumpy over having to make what feels like a million salads while helping horrible customers. I walk into the house and see Husband, sitting on the couch totally deflated. This is about the time when he tells me that one of the patients he was working with died, or had major complications, or is just in a horrible situation with terrible injuries and no insurance.

As you can imagine my day gets put into perspective. And really, there are some days where I totally beat myself up about this. Even if I get my dream job as a kick-ass writer, it's still not like I'll be saving lives. My career won't be anything like what Husband will have to deal with. But after I think really long and hard about it, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being a part-time English rockstar. 

Here's why....

DOCTOR: Quick! This man is dying! There's no pulse! We need some literature! FAST!

ME: What? What kind?
DOCTOR: Anything you silly girl. Just recite something!

ME: (floundering for something and watching the medical people scurry around the poor man that's dying on the bed in front of me.) 'To be, or not to be -- that is the question...'

DOCTOR: Good! Keep going!

(There's a slight beep on the heart monitor and then it flat lines again)

ME: 'Whether 'tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles...' 

(The heart monitor starts producing a steady beeping sound and a smile breaks out across the Doctor's face.)

DOCTOR: You did it! Thank God, he has a pulse once again. 

ME: (shaking and horribly glad I didn't have to recite the entire thing. Because let's face it, I couldn't really remember any more than that) Yeah, any time. 

(And then I run like hell away from the hospital and hide under my bed for the rest of my life)

Yes, I'm very glad we don't live in a world where life and death matters are solved by english instead of sensible things, like medicine. *shivers* I don't think I could handle the pressure.

When I think of things like this, and that quote about fish and flying, then I am very glad that I am an English person. No, I may not ever drill a hole in someone's leg in order for the to be able to walk again one day. And no, I may never have to incubate anyone. But I really REALLY glad of that. 

The way I look at it is, maybe I can't save their lives in a hospital  but I can save them on a different level. I can create stories and characters that make them feel happy, or not so alone in the world, or even just connected to an idea that's bigger than themselves. I can entertain them. I can't attend to their physical needs, but maybe to their emotional needs.

And that will make all the difference.   

The Dangers of Being True to Yourself

There's all this emphasis on being true to yourself. Google "being true to yourself quotes" and you get like a million hits of a million pages all full of inspirational quotes.

Well, words will only get you so far.

I'm not sure how many of you watch The Big Bang Theory but at our home if one of the few channels we get has it on, we're watching it.

If you're not familiar, I have a clip.


So, a lot of days I feel like the guy in the blue shirt. "It's not that I think you are worthless. Just what you do (or let's substitute in the word "like") is."

Yep. That's how I feel most days.

I am someone who...

• loves Star Wars - so much so my license plate reflects this love. Also, there is an R2-D2 action figured super glued to my dashboard
• is falling in love with Star Trek. I didn't want to really, but it happened. 
• watches Dr. Who
• reads like a meth-head smokes
• loves children's and young adult literature
• enjoys discussions on how the Disney princesses reflect various views of women/ why Sleeping Beauty sucks/ how Disney himself sticks to the tradition of fairy tales much like the Grimm brothers
• enjoys debates on the psychological undertones of Harry Potter
• loves animated movies - I can't wait to see Hotel Transylvania 
• is getting a Masters degree in not only creative writing, but in Children's Literature

 None of these are horrible traits. However, when they're all combined ...well, let's just say I tend to feel like a minority. I know that there are other people like me out there. That's why I love my program. I can totally walk around in this shirt ...

... and people get it. I can have serious discussions about Disney princesses and not get ogled like I've just grown a second and third head. 

I would like to pause and mention that none of this comes from anyone in my family. They tend to share a lot (but not really all) of the things listed above, and support me none-the-less. Granted, on more than one occasion a few of my loved ones have exclaimed upon meeting my grad school friends, "Oh look! There are more people like you!" I know that's supposed to be encouraging but what I'm hearing is "Oh honey, you aren't as big of a freak as I thought." Is that what my loved one means? Hell no! They just are excited that I have people I can relate with.

*sigh*

Okay, here I am getting to the real meat of my post. I am who I am and that's not going to change. I'm damn stubborn enough to like what I like and march on. But the thing is, I just get so freaking tired some days.

Here's how I want some days to go at work:

(PS - I work at a catering/ cafe/ bakery place)

Me: Hello there, can I help you with anything today? 

Customer: I think I'd like a few frozen casseroles.

Me: Well, I can help you with that [INSERT CASSEROLE SPEIL HERE]

Customer: (while I'm ringing them up) So, are you a student?

Me: Yes I am.

Customer: Oh, that's nice. What are you studying?

Me: Well, I'm getting a Masters in Creative Writing with a focus on Children's Literature.

Customer: THAT'S AMAZING! HOW IS IT THAT YOU ARE SO COOL?

Reality:

Customer: (while I'm ringing them up) So, are you a student?

Me: Yes I am.

Customer: Oh, that's nice. What are you studying?

Me: Well, I'm getting a Masters in Creative Writing with a focus on Children's Literature.

Customer: Oh, well, so what ...uh... what do you want to do with that?

Me: Well, write. And maybe teach. 

Customer: That's sweet.

Awkward silence

Me: *sigh* well, my husband is going to be a nurse. He's finishing up his degree.

Customer: Oh thank God! Well, at least you'll have him and won't have to starve. 

Yes, I am so thankful for my husband. 

But come on. I mean, upon reading those two different scenes to him out loud just now he laughed and said, "Oh dear, that's horrible."

I know. I live it.

So like I was saying, sometimes I just get so tired of being unique. I mean, I know that there are more people like me. I see them when I go to other places in the US. But if there are any near me (and no, the creepy comicbook store guys don't count - why?  Because the main adjetive there is "creepy.") I sure can't find them.

What do I do? I mean really, how do you just keep on going all the time when people ask you what you like/ what you want to do and you get that same damn blank stare over and over again? 

Really, I see two choices:

1. Suck it up and just keep going. You will find people who understand you and when you do, you should really develop those relationships and get fulfillment there and from yourself.
2. Give up

I don't like choice number two. I don't want to force myself to like TV shows I hate just so I can relate to the general public.

I guess what I'm saying here is yes, it's exhausting staying true to oneself when you seem to be in the nerd minority. But what other choice do you have?

If you are reading this and are like, "Holy shit that's me!" Awesome. You are not alone. Keep it up. Keep doing what you do and loving what you love. 

On those days when I feel the weight of the world on me. Like I'll never fit in. Like I'll always get those blank stares and that no one will understand me again, my amazing husband comes through. He reminds me of this quote... 

  

Ending thought: Stay true to yourself. Sure, we may be some fish among birds, but at least we can breath underwater! Kapow!

Children and Thesis Writing

Ah. 

Children.

I don't have any, but that doesn't stop people from asking me (whenever I feel tired) "Oh, do you think your pregnant?" I suppose that question is fair game now that I'm married. 

However the answer is always, "No."

But that doesn't mean I don't have a child... of sorts. 

I have a thesis. 

I've seen posts and things where people compare writing a novel to a bad relationship. I'm sure I've even done it myself.

But right now, I think my thesis writing (which IS writing a novel) is a bit more like having a baby. Disclaimer: I've never had a baby therefore my comparison is biased/uninformed. But here we go anyway.

How my thesis is like a baby...

• It keeps me up at night
• I have to check on it every few hours to make sure it's okay
• I don't like leaving the house without it. What if it needs me while I'm gone?
• It needs to be looked after, and worked on, ALL THE TIME
• I can't really think of anything else
• Mostly, it's the only thing people ask me about anymore
• I love it
• And kind-a wish I could give it to a baby(thesis)sitter for just a few hours so I could relax and just not worry about it
• It keeps me from my housework 
• I tend to forget why I walked into a certain room because I'm too busy pondering what the thesis may need next
• I've put so much of myself into it
• Once you start it your life will NEVER be the same
• You really don't just have any "me time" anymore
• It needs to be nurtured to grow
• Really, it's the most ADORABLE thesis you've ever seen
• It has a personality all of its own
• Sometimes it does what it wants and just gets itself into trouble
• Lastly, it consumes so much of my time/life/mind that I might be a little crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thesis writing has been WHY I've been so MIA for the past...forever. And will be, until this spring. I hope. That is my goal. 

So, until then expect sporadic and random updates. Many of which may focus around my thesis, because really, it's my life now.

Back to Reality

Yes, I lied.


I said that I would post (not regularly, but post none-the-less) this summer. Well, I didn't. Sure, I posted a bit, but not enough to count.


I was super busy! This was my last summer to be on campus during my program and I wanted to make it count. And did I ever. I made tons of new friends, got lots of writing done, fell back in love with my novel/WIP/thesis, AND came to terms with the fact that I am a good writer.


For such a long time I felt like I wasn't good enough. That the words that I put done on the page were just awful and that I'd never get a book deal. 


Well, I don't feel that now. I reread a lot of my older stuff, stuff I typed up three months ago and with each key stroke would think, "This is shit. This is total and complete shit, but just get it on the page and then you can revise." I don't think that anymore. 


I need to believe in myself, because if I don't then who the hell is going to? Yes, my super-amazing husband will always believe in me, and so will my family, but that is only enough when you believe in yourself. 


I'm stepping off of my soapbox now. 


Goals for this new "year." I say year because by this time next year I will (hopefully) have my thesis done and will be looking for agents/ editors. Well, let me rephrase... Goal for this year. Work on my thesis/novel (it's one in the same now) for AT LEAST one hour each day. I need to do that to get the last few chapter written and then begin the revision process before sending the revised chapters to my thesis advisor for notes and even more revision.

But it's so exciting! There is an end in sight! I will have this  novel done soon, and before you know it you will be seeing it on the bookshelves at bookstores. Mark my words. I will continue to make salads and whatnot to help my husband with the finances but also so that I can focus on my work.


From here on out, my real job is my novel. My hobby is going and making money. 

Ponderings on Magical Realism

Well, its been awhile.


School has just been blowing by so fast! Hence the lack of posting... 


Anyway, as promised, I thought I'd share what I've been learning in my classes. Today's subject is magical realism.


What is magical realism?


That's a very good question, and I've discovered that the answer kind of changes depending on who you ask. But, you've asked me. So here's what I've gathered my class focusing on the genre in Children's and YA literature. 


The term stared with the South American Writers, and they're also the ones that popularized it, but they didn't really begin the genre and it's not limited to them. 


A magical realism text is a book in which fantastic events are included in the text that otherwise maintains a realistic narrative. No one is surprised by these events/ fantastic elements and they are accepted without questions - maybe a bit of marveling. OKAY. In other-words, it mixes magic with the mundane. These magical events/ elements help the characters (and reader) examine the realistic elements of the story through a different lens. For example: (The Unicorn in the Garden by James Thurber) the appearance of a unicorn in a man's garden highlights the problems in his marriage and then the man and his wife get a divorce. Without the unicorn in the garden, the man might never have noticed the things that were wrong with his marriage. 


You might be saying, "Hey, this sounds a lot like fantasy. What's the difference?"


I'm so glad that you asked. Because I do have an answer to that.


In magical realism these fantastic elements are generally limited to one kind of magic or are somehow related. The magic tends to be localized - the entire world isn't magic, it's the regular mundane world and then there just happens to be a talking elephant. Or a unicorn. Or a yard gnome that's actually a Norse god. 


Also, in magical realism, the story is not littered with tons of magical objects or creatures. The woods aren't filled with pixies, elves, and there aren't any knights that wield magic swords and have enchanted shields. Lastly, the narrator is just a regular ole' human being. 


So here are some magical realism devices:

• Multiple planes of reality: Things/ people can experience realistic events simultaneously in the same place but different times, or vice versa. Being in two places at the same time. Confused? Think about Cameron in Going Bovine and how he's both in the hospital and galavanting around the country 
• Metafiction: Where a fictitious reader enters into a story within a story or where the textual world enters into our world. 
• Inanimate objects may be "alive"
• "Mythical" creatures may appear but not as a normal creature of the place. So - not Harry Potter where they roam the forest.       

Well, that's the best that I've got on the subject. I think that magical realism is this kind of thing where you can read a story and say "oh, yeah, this is magical realism" or "dear, God. This is sooo not it." But it tends to be harder to define. 


Granted, I can't take credit for all these notes. I got them from my class. Which, has turned out to be an amazingly fun class. Woo!


Now, hasn't this post been worth waiting for?

Update from Grad School

Whew!


Things have been cray up here. I have been working hard on my WIP in my tutorial class and working on some short stories in my Magical Realism class....


I'm excited about tutorial today. It'll be the first time chapter 7 gets a good and intense critiquing. I've been going through and re-reading my WIP, getting chapters ready for class, and I've fallen back in love with this story again. Which is AWESOME! It's awful to fall out of love with your WIP... But sometimes I think that's just the nature of the writer/story relationship. We spend too much time together and get sick of one another (this happened to me and my best friend at camp quiet often) and then we start talking to one another again and realize why we enjoyed each other the first time around.


Let's see... Also, I am working on a presentation on how to make a believable antagonist. I'm kind of having a ton of fun with it. The teacher encouraged us to be as creative with these presentations as we want. So mine is involving a handout that looks like a recipe and bars of dark chocolate with quotes about villains on them. Kapow! I'm stoked. I present next week and will share my research here. 


In Magical Realism we've mostly been talking about the books we've read for the class and looking at how the writer does what they do within the story. You may be asking yourself, "What is magical realism?" Well, that is a whole different post entirely. I promise I will try and be better about posting while I am at school... 


I did write my first magical realism story and I'm debating if I'll post it here. I might post a bit to give you a taste. I will tell you it involves the Berlin Wall and I've been having a fun time researching life in East Germany. 


Not that I want to live in the former GDR, but it's cool to learn about a life so different from my own. I mean, they didn't have bananas. I don't even like bananas, but still. It was like they were super intense about the equality of all men that if everyone couldn't have bananas then NO ONE COULD. 


On top of that I've been missing the Husband super much. It's like when you get your wisdom teeth removed. There's this big hole that is this dull pain kind-a all the time, and then you poke it and it's super tender and hurts even more. BUT! I think he's going to visit soon and that would rock soooo much! The only thing that keeps my graduate program from being paradise is that he's not here with me. 


So there's my update! I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post, but I'll make sure to do it once a week! Come back next time for thoughts on Magical Realism.  

Return To Grad School

Well, today is the first "official" day back at school.


But really it's just orientation.


I all have of info for my classes and already I feel overwhelmed. 


In my tutorial class (the one where we work on our future thesis - and since we're creative writing people it's like novels or collections of picture books) we have to submit up to 20 pages a week! I think I knew this going into it, but chose to block it out of my mind. I mean, really that's like a chapter a week of my WIP... but still, seeing that number on the page is just intimidating. Then we'll also have these presentations on some aspect of the craft... I did one in my first tutorial (last fall) on when to show and when to tell. Check it out here. This one I'll be looking on what makes a realistic villain in fiction. So, keep you eyes peeled for that. 


I'm not sure how stressful the other class, my Magical Realism class, is going to be. But the thing is... This is the 3rd summer that I've come to this program. I remember it being hard but I always get through it. Then I get up here and realize (again) just how demanding it's going to be. However, having a support group of other writers, other students helps, and Husband (who is far to far away at this point) is what makes all the difference. 


Here is a conversation I had with my father my first summer:


"Dad, I want to come home. I don't think I can do this any more."


"Is it because you don't think it's your calling in life? Or is it just too hard?"


Silence.


"It's too hard...."


"Then no. You're not allowed to come home."


And this is how I feel every summer. HOWEVER, it is totally worth it. I'm a better writer for it. 


Whoever thinks that writing is easy is a moron.  

I Think I Can! I Think I Can!

Well, I'm getting ready to head off to my MFA program for the last time. I have super mixed feelings about it. On the one hand...

1. I am beyond excited to get up to school and spend time with my Nerd Herd (I don't think they know I refer to them as that, but they probably will now. And I think they'll like it.)
2. I love the classes and can't wait to be in a physical classroom again learning.
3. I love the location of my program and just feel so at home there. I mean, where I live now it awesome, but there is soooo much more up there. 
4. And I'm really excited to be nearing the end of my degree and all that means.

But on the other hand...

1. I'm going to be done with my degree before I know it. No more fun classes. No more going to Nerd Camp.
2. I have to leave my new husband for 6 weeks.
3. I will miss my husband's birthday... 
4. Did I mention that I'll miss my husband?
5. I won't have any income for 6 weeks.

So there's a lot swirling around in my mind. The lists above only scratch the surface. But don't take away the wrong idea. I'm not unhappy, just conflicted. 


But my ramblings are not the full focus of this post. This post is about writing, believe it or not. And my own writing to boot. 


I'll go more into this in a future post, but I've been tracking my word count, day by day, for almost a month now. I have been forcing myself to sit down at the computer and just write damn it. Some days I'll only get a few hundred words. Other days, I'll get a couple thousand down on the page. Are they all the final words? Hell no! They are my road map. I know that there are blanks that I need to go and fill in, but that's for another draft. 


This draft will be my first, complete draft of my novel. I have been working on it for around five years now. Why has it taken me that long to write one full draft? 


Here's why:

• I didn't force myself to write as much as I have in the last few weeks
• I've been working on this for several different workshop style classes and in those classes people want to read your stuff, critique it, and then see the changes. I'll tell you I've had countless drafts of Chapter One, but only one draft of chapters 10, 11, and 12. 
• I'm lazy
• I'm not pushing myself to be a writer. <------ THIS IS BAD

So, the whole point of this is to pass along some more advice to you. Don't be like me. Or, well, the old me. Don't over edit a few chapter while never writing any of the others. Be like the new me. Write as often as you can and take notes on what you know you need to add in later. 


However, this way might not work for everyone. What's your writing style?

Vacation!

Just a quick update!

I'm so glad that so many of you have found the 25 Ways to Be A Better Writer so helpful. It's been fun to put together and I've been learning a lot myself. Look for the next installment next week sometime, probably on Tuesday.

For those of you that have been following this blog for the last several months you'll know that for my MFA I was working on  a paper that focused on Harry Potter. Since you all were so awesome to put up with my ranting, moaning, and various other Harry Potter posts, I thought you might like to know the outcome.

I got an A!

AND My professor suggested with a bit more revision that it could be publishing ready, so woo! Also, I know that I was pretty hush hush about the focus of the paper on here. So I feel like I can finally reveal what I was working so hard on: I was looking at how the characters of Harry and Voldemort relate to one another in the terms of Jungian critical theory. TADA! 

At the moment husband and I are on vacation (with my parents) and are not only relaxing but having a great time celebrating the conclusion of this past semester. Look for regular blog posts next week as well as the review for Divergent's sequel Insurgent.     

Missing: One Blogger/ Creative Writer. Reward if found.

I promise I haven't forgotten about my blog. I know it seems like I have, but there just aren't enough minutes in the day sometimes.

So, what's been going on in my life in the past month?

Well...

I finished my annotated bibliography and detailed outline (which wound up being nine pages long and generated a WOW! from my professor) and got them turned in.

I've started writing the first draft of my paper (wish me luck)...

My life has too much Harry Potter in it... I keep having dreams about it. The one I remember most involves me and my husband being at Hogwarts with Lilly and James and me giving dating advice to Lilly while my husband replaces Wormtail as the fourth member of the group (but doesn't go all evil...)

And I've been sucked into the Hunger Games world. Yes, I saw the movie friday, finished the second book later that night and then finished the third yesterday. Holy cow. I'm pretty sure that sometime this weekend I overdosed on reading... Husband accused me of huffing literature and it's true. I can get addicted to certain books.

Now that I'm done with the Hunger Games I can start having a normal life again, and I'm going to start reading John Green's latest book The Fault in Our Stars. It promises to be good, so hopefully I'll stop being lazy and actually post a book review on that one.

Just wanted to make an appearance... Let you know that I'm not dead (yet). And that there will be more to come.  

Checking In

Not much has changed since the last post...

Except I've read much more Harry Potter, done mounds of laundry, and been working a ton. Seriously, when you work between 35-40 hours a week and try and read all the Harry Potter book in two months there isn't time for much else.

I have found time to "window shop" on my favorite webpages (Etsy and Wanelo) and I found a shirt with this image on it...

Needless to say I 1) agree and 2) want that shirt. And while there may be no such thing as too many books, there is such a thing as not having enough space to store them all.

Whats a girl to do?

Well I am now 1,228 pages into the 4,100 pages that I need to read by February 27th. I think that's like 30%...

I will say this. I am not the biggest fan of this whole *fingerwiggles* independent study thing. At first I thought "Sure, it'll be hard but not that hard." It's not the reading that's difficult. It's the research. Ugh. The public library only has so much of the type of research materials I need and I have to pay $50 to join the local university's library (that is just illegal if you ask me) and the library on my campus can send me things but I'm getting tangled in all of the red tape I have to get through to get the books and documents. 

*Sigh* I am done freaking out/ venting/ whatever-ing at the moment. 

I promise that I will be back sooner (rather than never) with new and exciting blog posts. My friend's blog is really starting to show mine up and I'm super competitive - so we can't have that now can we? ;-) 

A Big Mistake

So I made a mistake.

It happens. I will be the first to admit that I'm not perfect. Far from it actually. I mean there are days where things just come out of my mouth (usually really dorky things at work) and I'm not "Just stop talking!" to myself.

But that's the the mistake I'm talking about this time.

No, this time, I decided to calculate how many pages there were in the American editions (hardback) of the Harry Potter series. I mean, I have to read all seven books by Feb 27th so I might as well figure out what I'm getting into.

Do you want to know how many there are?
4,100. On the nose.

I'll let that sink in a bit.

FOUR THOUSAND AND ONE HUNDRED PAGES.

In a little over a month. Sure, when I fist read the Harry Potter that would be no problem. But now I work and have a grown-up life.

PLUS! I have to do research.

See, it was a mistake. I have to read 96 pages a day. On off days that's a piece of cake, but on days I don't get home till 7:00 pm... Not so easy.

If you could see me now I'd be puffing my bags up.

It'll be okay though.

Granted, I've only read a little over 730 pages so far. So that's like...18%. Or not. I'm not so great at math.

But I'm going to keep on keeping on. I adored Harry Potter growing up, and how many people get to spend an entire semester writing one paper that focuses on something they've loved since they were in 6th grade (maybe more than I think) but it's still awesome.

TO VICTORY!

Overload and Why Reality TV is Okay

Today was a library day for me. It was super awesome. It feels like it's been years since I've holed up in a study room, gotten strung out on coffee, and knocked out a ton of work. And maybe it has been. Usually when I'm on campus for grad school I mostly hide in my room or sprawl out on the sofa and knock out the work. Maybe it's been since college since I had one of these days.

You may be thinking to yourself: Holy cow, you're crazy! You actually enjoy that?!?

YES I DO!

I love learning and being a student and being a student focusing on something that I actually love - as opposed to class that I have to take to graduate. Grad school and college are two different kettles of fish.

But that's not what this post is about.

No, this is about the after effects of studying for 6 hours non-stop and drinking too much caffeine. Sure, there's that accomplished feeling you get, but then you want to veg out.

This is easy for my husband: He plays video games. Which is fine with me, gives me time to write and read and he gets to decompress. Win win in my book.

But I think decompressing is harder for English people. What do we do for fun? Read. What do we do for work/study? Read. After 6 hours of reading that's the last thing I want to do. I don't care if it's fun reading or not. It's still words. Words that start swimming across the page.

So what do I do to decompress?

I watch horrible TV. Not awesome TV that requires me to think. Total and complete brain candy. And non-English people just don't get it. They don't get the draw of the totally idiotic and stereotypic characters of reality TV. You don't need to pay attention to what's going on to make connections later in the show. There is always the bitch. There is always the "good" girl/guy. The slut. The goof-ball. The backstabber. It's just new faces each time. It's not like you're invested on a deep level.

I would argue that a healthy balanced dose of horrible television is needed in a person's mental diet. Okay, and here you can substitute video game or whatever. But yes, when you study for 1/4 of a day it's allowed to watch 2(ish) hours of complete crap. For the same reasons Weight Watchers allows you to splurge a little bit each week. To keep you sane.

Now, for all of you people who are like: Why don't you go out there and get some exercise?

You obviously haven't studied for 6 hours non-stop. Or are really intense.

Thus I rest my case.  

The Everyday Adventures of an English Graduate Student: Perspective

Here we see our young graduate student settling down into her seat on the airplane. It is a window seat. She pulls out the texts she is evaluating for a critical paper and stuffs them into the seat pocket in front of her. Yes, the 45 minute plane ride will be the perfect time to go through her books and see which key scenes are relevant to her paper.

She glaces up as a thin, middle age man, settles into the seat next to her. He smile and says, "Hello." His accent is thick and she can't really place it. She smile and says hello back. The two then settle into an almost awkward silence. He pulls out a stack of papers from his briefcase before sticking it under the seat in front of him.

Our graduate student recognizes the format of the first page. It is an article of some sort. A word involving globular or something along those lines is nestled into the title. Our graduate student pays little attention to the article, obviously it is focusing on something that is clearly not in her line of study.

"Why do you mark the pages?" The man asks.

This is what our graduate student should've said: "Oh, I'm doing a textual analysis of the figure of the cross-dressing girl hero in young adult literature and how it subverts the stereotypical gender norms."

Instead she says this: "Oh, I'm doing a paper on girls who dress like boys to get what they want."

Silence. "Uh, so what are you reading?" She asks. She's really hoping that the man doesn't realize how awkward she feels.

"Ah, yes, this is a paper my colleague and I are writing. It's looking at a mathematical equation that will generate a 3D rendering of the growth pattern of brain tumors."

"Oh."

More silence.

Our poor graduate student looks from her books to his paper and wants to jump out the emergency exit of the plane. She keeps repeating in her mind, "My work is important. My work is important." How is it important? Had you asked her that before the plane ride she would've been able to give you a very good answer. But for the life of her she can't think of what it is right now.

"So," the man must sense our poor graduate student's distress. "You want to write?"

She has to bite back, "Well, not any more..." and instead smile and says, "Yes."

"That's good. Literature is very important. It engages the other side of the brain."

HA! Her work is important! Suck on that doubt!